My Agape Love for Men (Women, Please also read this.)
This is different than how I usually write, and it makes me feel a bit vulnerable (though it's mostly not about me). I'm sharing this anyway, hoping that it helps people.
I see you.
So many of you, hiding.
You've been raised and taught,
"Be strong."
"Never cry."
"Cryings for wusses."
"What are you, a girl?"
I feel you.
So many of you reaching
For more:
for women, or just one woman, or men to hear you.
To know you're human,
and you feel things too.
Once I held a crying man silently, as he mourned a close friend, and I knew not to say a thing.
I knew words would only serve to shame him further.
Both men and women so often seem to expect men to be like robots, even to hold the pain inside until it rots them, until they start convincing themselves there is something wrong with them for feeling strong emotions like sadness or fear. Then they have bought the social lies; have resigned themselves to the brainwashing, having given up and refuse to see, the sacredness which still shines, though dimly, deep within them; their part of the sacredness within all life.
I see you.
I hear you.
Brothers, friends, acquaintances, strangers, past lovers, past potential lovers who never became so: I honour all of your pains, and I weep for you.
I sense, in small part, the difficulties of your struggles. I respect you. You are real men. Real men cry when awful things happen, if that is their instinct. If you were built to experience life in all of its intensities, you are still a real man. There is nothing wrong with you.
Tears are a sign of strength, and a scientifically proven healthy action in moderation.
Being honest and feeling vulnerable is actually strength. Facing your shadow and confronting it, is masculine.
If you don't cry, and suffer silently the emotional abuses of women or other men, you are also a real man.
We talk so fervently of the sacredness of the divine feminine rising, and it is. It rises in all of us, regardless of sex and gender.
Just as the divine masculine must rise.
Maybe as a woman I'm just not seeing it, but is there enough space in the spiritual community to honour the divine masculine just as much? Do you see this being done?
Men are hurt by things like toxic patriarchy and arbitrary social rules in their own ways, just as much as women are.
Can you see that?
Can you explore it and feel it with them?
Can you silently hold sacred space for a man who is lost in misery, if he asks you to?
As they're majority holders of masculine energies, we women can learn a lot from men. We can learn as much from them as they can learn from us.
I have agape love for every man I have known in any way. I even have agape love for men who have emotionally abused me, and for those who accidentally triggered me into temporarily feeling as if they emotionally abused me.
Why?
Because it hurts me to live a life where I feel no love for some people.
Because I know that misunderstandings happen, since different people have different communication styles.
Because I know that those men hurt me because they had been hurt by others.
If any of the men who I have had a misunderstanding with read this, I forgive you and I ask for your forgiveness too. I take equal responsibility for any pain which may still exist between us. I hold on to no negative emotions for you, and I agape love you.
I see you.
So many of you, hiding.
You've been raised and taught,
"Be strong."
"Never cry."
"Cryings for wusses."
"What are you, a girl?"
I feel you.
So many of you reaching
For more:
for women, or just one woman, or men to hear you.
To know you're human,
and you feel things too.
Once I held a crying man silently, as he mourned a close friend, and I knew not to say a thing.
I knew words would only serve to shame him further.
Both men and women so often seem to expect men to be like robots, even to hold the pain inside until it rots them, until they start convincing themselves there is something wrong with them for feeling strong emotions like sadness or fear. Then they have bought the social lies; have resigned themselves to the brainwashing, having given up and refuse to see, the sacredness which still shines, though dimly, deep within them; their part of the sacredness within all life.
I see you.
I hear you.
Brothers, friends, acquaintances, strangers, past lovers, past potential lovers who never became so: I honour all of your pains, and I weep for you.
I sense, in small part, the difficulties of your struggles. I respect you. You are real men. Real men cry when awful things happen, if that is their instinct. If you were built to experience life in all of its intensities, you are still a real man. There is nothing wrong with you.
Tears are a sign of strength, and a scientifically proven healthy action in moderation.
Being honest and feeling vulnerable is actually strength. Facing your shadow and confronting it, is masculine.
If you don't cry, and suffer silently the emotional abuses of women or other men, you are also a real man.
We talk so fervently of the sacredness of the divine feminine rising, and it is. It rises in all of us, regardless of sex and gender.
Just as the divine masculine must rise.
Maybe as a woman I'm just not seeing it, but is there enough space in the spiritual community to honour the divine masculine just as much? Do you see this being done?
Men are hurt by things like toxic patriarchy and arbitrary social rules in their own ways, just as much as women are.
Can you see that?
Can you explore it and feel it with them?
Can you silently hold sacred space for a man who is lost in misery, if he asks you to?
As they're majority holders of masculine energies, we women can learn a lot from men. We can learn as much from them as they can learn from us.
I have agape love for every man I have known in any way. I even have agape love for men who have emotionally abused me, and for those who accidentally triggered me into temporarily feeling as if they emotionally abused me.
Why?
Because it hurts me to live a life where I feel no love for some people.
Because I know that misunderstandings happen, since different people have different communication styles.
Because I know that those men hurt me because they had been hurt by others.
If any of the men who I have had a misunderstanding with read this, I forgive you and I ask for your forgiveness too. I take equal responsibility for any pain which may still exist between us. I hold on to no negative emotions for you, and I agape love you.
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