Looking for Comedy to Watch, and Finding 90's Nostalgia and Astrology with Strange Stand-up Comedian Tom Green

Lol people like me just can’t make this up. I love adding evidence as my part in proving that Astrology is real.

[Tldr: I didn’t plan it ‘cause I just wanted to watch something that I vaguely remembered as funny when I was a teen, but I decided to do a fun reading of stand-up comedian, actor and musician Tom Green (adding a few jokes in my own style & leaving out transits to make this shorter).]

I decided to find some comedy to watch or re-watch, and remembered stand-up comedian (and later actor and musician) Tom Green and how I used to listen to and laugh at his indie radio show, The Midnight Caller, as a teen. (Yes kids, way back in the Jurassic Age of the 1990’s, some of us still listened to these big clumsy boxes called radios, ‘cause we didn’t have Spotify then. Visit your grandparents at their assisted living home and listen to something together.)

He’s an offbeat (to say the least), sometimes just weirdly unfunny, yet sometimes goofball-funny and intriguing comedian.

Or that’s what I vaguely remembered.

I hadn’t seen his tv show that was on in recent years, so I looked at his YouTube, and right away see, “The Bum-Bum Song”, so I snort-smirked and remembered some of his antics, like the night I was listening live as he consensually had himself duct taped up and onto a pole on Sparks St. In downtown Ottawa, and live-streamed his pain, trying to stay up as long as he could, with co-host Glenn Humplik (supposedly a real surname) commenting, while a few cars and / or people ran by yelling.

So as I smirked and shook my head at part of the video, I automatically thought he must have Sagittarius prominent, or something like multiple aspects involving his 5th, and maybe a placement in Aquarius or Pisces. So I closed the video and looked at his chart.

As you can see, in his 5th house, he has Leo Sun (High confidence yet a lack of self awareness, high natural charisma and fun-loving, jokester attitude) & South Node (unusual ways of serving humanity & opportunities for new personal growth after past lives, plus gifts to rediscover due to karma we’ve resolved in past lives).

Mars and the North Node, as they’re both in Aquarius, are at home in the 11th house, indicating an adult life where he’s likely to have a pattern of seeming cold and impersonal one on one, though his concerns and possible anxiety are more naturally focused on social and political injustices anywhere in the world. People with Aquarius prominent often don’t realize when they’ve developed a pattern of seeming insensitive to the individual needs of their loved ones, and many suffer from anxiety or depression as a result. Many comedians have spoken of their love for the craft stemming from earlier years when they felt misunderstood, and many are misdiagnosed with things like ADHD or Aspergers, adding an unnecessary label to their understandable emotional difficulties. And so as a way of healing self-expression, they get involved in forms of comedy which just seem strange and uncomfortable to others, but which can lead to deep inner healing, and, even stranger to some, personal growth for the overall good of humanity. They feel they have to keep pushing the envelope (something Leo Suns in general are also well known for when in detriment), desperately trying to replace all pain with laughs. This type of Mars is commonly perceived in such a person as just anger, when often they’re apathetic or depressed, yet they’re not sure if their feelings are valid enough to express and move through. The North Node indicates that Tom’s natural life path does involve some form of comedy, as that has been a continuous theme for him since he was a young adult.

His Sagittarius, in the 9th house of learning, teaching and philosophizing is (similar to me though at a different degree), in Neptune. Neptune rules illusions / delusions, yet also intuition, among other things which may or may not apply to Tom, such as addiction. Neptunian energy can be experienced or perceived as out there in it’s way too, with much day-dreamy type behaviour and high use of metaphors. Sagittarius is most well known for the funniest person in the zodiac, yet someone who lacks ambition. People once thought, way back near the beginning of the Jurassic Age, that simply goofing off nonsensically like some kind of weird hip-hop grunge hippy clown “freak” who doesn’t have a set identity and who lacks the ambition to earn the respect of a Capricorn, was a dead-end “career” worthy of only a sneer.

Youtube and other social media has proven them wrong.

In his 6th house (Virgos native house), he has Pluto in Virgo, indicating that he has a natural way with pets (he lives “alone” in the Canadian countryside with a dog named Charley, and still travels around doing standup). This placement also indicates that he may take various aspects of his health either too seriously, or not seriously enough. In 2000, he suffered and recovered from testicular cancer. New studies are showing how much things like high sugar intake contribute to cancer rates. Virgo and Pluto are both disciplined and focused when each at their best, and this will have have contributed to the reasons for why he survived. His Moon is in the 8th house, with it’s natural partner, Scorpio. This will have given him the stubbornness, drive, and will to go all the way through this intensely frightening transformation, and emerge healthy. His Aquarius placements are part of what encouraged him to make The Tom Green Cancer Special, which aired on MTV later that year.

With his Mercury in Virgo (also at home in the 6th and similar to me by placement, though not house or degree), he’s a natural communicator, and at his best and in certain situations, can communicate succinctly. With his Saturn being in Gemini in it’s native house, the 3rd, and both signs commonly sharing co-rulership (though I’m one of those people who tends to work more with Chiron as ruler of Virgo), this indicates major clashes with authority figures such as religious or spiritual leaders, or people of differing professions, yet could also indicate disharmony with anyone, including parents or parental figures (though the latter are more commonly found in the 4th and 10th houses). His Chiron is (no surprise as he and I are part of the same generation and Chiron has a 50 year orbital period) also retrograde in Taurus, in its home of the 2nd. As material possessions, groundedness and resourcefulness, finances and security are here, though this house isn’t directly related to family, it will be related to the following.

There’s an old video of Tom pranking his parents by spray-painting porn onto the hood of their car, and his father walking angrily away, saying he should call the cops. As his father, Captain Richard Green, is a veteran of the Canadian Armed Forces, it’s no stretch of the imagination to see that there is a natural disconnect between two such family members who are so different in their personalities and careers. Saturn brings themes of dealing with older people, restrictions, discipline, and traditions. Without seeing a synastry chart for them, we only know these basics about father and son.

Gemini here also has Tom behaving like someone who talks too much, causing a clash of him being overbearing as he works to restrict anyone who chastises his behaviour or is expressing discomfort through body language. This is proven as a fact, to anyone who watches only one of his sketches or music videos to get an idea of what he’s about. Then all you have to do is take a bit of time in a search engine to compare what a good Astrologer like me is saying with free, commonly listed traits of every planet, sign, angle etc. in your search engine, and you can finish making Astrology evident to yourself instead of remaining close-minded. This could take as little as minutes and shouldn’t be difficult for those of you who tap away at your phones 9000 km per minute :).

He doesn’t have any Capricorn in this, his main Tropical / Western chart. (A third thing he and I have in common. Just in case you don’t know, we do all have periods of time in our lives where we can access each of all 12 signs / all 10 planets, etc., through current transits, and work with those energies in their common ways then). As Capricorn and ruling planet Saturn represent ambition, responsibility, respect and fame, he’ll have been seen by some of his close friends and family as lacking real ambition, and on the road to nowhere.

Tom Green was in several popular movies, and used to be married to actress Drew Barrymore (they were both in Charlies Angels), who as we see on her talk show he now has an amicable acquaintanceship with, (and let’s be honest, those two aren’t great enough at acting to successfully fake the vibe that they don’t hate each other, so I believe they genuinely have a care of some sort for each other.) He has 52 actor credits, 20 producer credits, 17 writer credits, 8 director credits, 6 soundtrack composer credits, and more on imdb.

So stick that in your gob and smoke it, as you stand in your Guccis at the the open window of your high-rise, luxury, over-priced condo, inhaling smog and re-inhaling cuban cigar smoke, Capricorn ;).

It’s fun to easily notice this stuff now, even without going into all placements and the aspects, but I don’t want this to be too long since I know most people like a short read, so I’ll end it with some humour from me, and a nice, mature Instagram post from Tom and Charlie.

I’ve always wondered why people don’t like big books.

Oh. My. God
Becky look at her book
It is so big
She looks like one of those
Librarians girlfriends.
Who understands those bespectacled guys.
They only talk to her because she looks like a total bookworm, ok
I mean, her book, it’s just so, big
Ugh, I can’t believe it’s so thick
It’s like out there, I mean ugh
Gross, look
She’s just so, smart

I like big books and I cannot lie.
You brotha-sistahs can’t deny
That when a big pretty book walk in with an itty bitty bookmark in

Your brain sprung

Wanna pull up rough
Cause you notice that

Spine unlined-deep
In the pages uh’ this mothafukin’ book

I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring’
Oh baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homegirls tried to warn me
But them prices y’all got
Make mah’ brain so horny
Oh cover of smooth skin
You say you wanna get on my shelf
Well use me cause you aint that average readin’

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